"New Employee Orientation"? No such thing. One half hour signing forms (yes, I have my original NDA, and no, you can't see it), signing up for health insurance, etc. etc. and then here's your office (the first of 26, so far), your email name and your terminal. Oh, and here's your manager (the first of 21, so far).
The 18.5 years that have followed...well, that's a story for another day. But it's been a grand story.
The story has another chapter! Read about The End...